Happy New Year urrrrrbody.
Hope you all partied so hard you're still in the proccess of recovering.
I know I did. ;]
New Year always makes me think...
I know, hard to believe I do that sometimes, eh?
Typically people look forward to 31st december, because a New Year is coming. Quite frankly I often ask myself 'why do people get so excited by a day?' ...Because if you come to think about it, the next day, when you wake up awfully tired with pain everywhere wondering why you have a tie around your forehead, you look around to realise you aren't home but in your friend's appartment and that you've slept on the floor all night...When you see that the whole livingroom is a mess (beer bottles, balloons, add whatever you want to) because of the huge New Year's party you gave last night, I don't think you feel completely different just because one night passed.
You just think: Fuck, I hope I don't have to help clean this up. And where are my pants?
Don't pretend you haven't gone through this.
This is my logical-self speaking. Because when that day comes closer, I can't help but be as excited as all these fools I've been critizing all the time.
So I wondered why. After thinking this through, I have come to the conclusion why people get so anxious and excited about a new year.
It's a new year. A WHOLE NEW YEAR! So psychologically, it feels as if a year opens a new door for you. Leave all the problems and drama behind. If there was any other particular reason...we wouldn't be writing 'resolutions for the new year'. I mean, seriously, who came up with that? Someone that obviously had the need to improve their life.
And it kind of makes sense. You think of it as a chance to be better.
Person 1: 'In 2009 I partied too much, now I'll focus more on getting my degree'
Person 2: 'In 2009 I studied too much, now I'll focus on partying more, I need to enjoy life!'
And then after that year, you come to the conclusion you partied (or studied too much) so you change your mind.
Person 1: 'Ok so I studied way too much, now it's time to party'
Person 2: 'Man, I partied too much, fuck, now I'll have to repeat the year. So now I'll study more'
...See what I mean?
The point is that it seems you'll always get a new chance to become better and a new year seems like a pretty darn good motivation. Nobody goes...
'Man, from tomorrow on, I WILL ...!'
...In the end, you're not as motivated as when A WHOLE NEW YEAR STARTS!
And I have exactly the same thing. For some odd reason, I'm already daydreaming about all the awesome stuff I will do next year. Perhaps because it seems more far away.
But what happens when 'next year' becomes 'tomorrow'?
Motivated people go for it 100%, not-motivated people go: 'what the heck, my sho'ws on, I'll start tomorrow'
And before you know it, it's 2011 and you're writing resolutions again.
Note to self: make sure I don't belong to that group.
Erika.
Monday, January 11, 2010
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Fuh-reezing.
I just can't cope.
Can't adapt.
It's a lost case, I gave up a long long time ago.
There are many many things I can handle, yet there's one thing I'll never manage to adapt to.
The coldness.
It's ironic how I live in the Netherlands, where 3/4 of the time it's cold (spring is considered as 'relatively warm', no sir, to me it's fuh-reezing).
The very obvious: I miss summer dearly.
However, I dedicate this blog to the one thing that provides me joy and laughter whenever the weather sucks balls.
It's the fact that I've been in extremely awkward situations the past couple of days because I tend to slip out some histerical giggles. If I was someone else, I'd think I was a total freak.
Must hold it in, hold it in, holdddd it in...
No luck.
Every morning, every afternoon, every night I go out...I wait for the bus. Generally, I'm late, so I pretty much ALWAYS miss the bus and usually run after it. That never helps, I miss it anyway, so I sigh and return to the bus stop and sit down as I wait for the next one to enrich my life and hopefully get me to my destination IN TIME.
I get bored. Need distraction, seeing as the coldness slowly penetrates my skin like sharp knives. I'm easily cold. Matter of fact, I'm always cold! Can't feel my hands, where are my toes? Why are my nipples so hard and my ears are burning. Only option left in order to entertain myself: I observe my surroundings. And I start observing people. How they move, how they interact...It's fascinating (stalker alert, pretty much?)
Seriously, I sometimes laugh internly and try to hold it in because...It's funny.
So funny.
It has been snowing the last couple of days. It's quite beautiful. And I can't help but notice... The face expressions. People falling down. The extreme carefulness. The red noses.
Not sure, nevertheless I assume I'm not the only one noticing how everyone's face expressions change drastically with the change of the weather.
So picture this:
I'm waiting five minutes for the bus. And in that five minute process I saw two people fall right infront of me.
Some dude on a bike almost slipped on the road. He caught my attention because he reminded me of Kenny (Southpark). He had his hood up (gangstaaa) and was wearing a orange, exaggerated thick coat. Wrapped up in wool. So, there he goes on his bike...Macho man made a very awkward movement, sort of like a hop, to save himself from the embarrassment of falling sideways and ending up on the street with his bike above him. I bet he'd look like a turtle if he fell down: the difficulty of getting up due to loss of balance, I don't think anyone could walk normally, wearing such a huge coat. He could barely move. Then his face of total panic. I'm giggling right now just by picturing the whole scene again.
Then some lady walking extremely careful on the snow, taking microscopic steps, looking overly concentrated as she took them, holding her arms up awkwardly for balance.
Bang, bitch fell down.
Look around you: everyone, EVERYONE tries their very best not to fall. Their eyes reflect full concentration on every movement. Their faces either amused by the situation, or simply annoyed.
And especially when it's windy. People hold their coats by their collar with one hand as they lean forward a little, an attempt to move on, to walk past the wind...trying not to get blown away. Their faces show everything but pleasure.
Dude, what about the umbrellas? That's the best of the best, man. Individuals fighting an endless battle against their umbrellas in the middle of the streets, trying to stop them from flying away and being broken by the strength of the wind. The umbrella flies from right to left, up and down, as you hold it, as you try to get a grip of it. And what do you generally do? You laugh. So hard. Because it's so fucking annoying, it gets fucking funny. At least I think so.
Just for the records: I'm not an evil bitch that sits there and laughs at people instead of helping them. Ok...So maybe I am.
It's just that I'm...easily amused. I'm all up for laughing at stupid shit.
Trust this: I can be quite clumsy. And I've fallen down many many times because of the snow before. Not even because of the snow, just because I trip on my own feet. What I mean to say, is that I've been through it too, so I have the right to laugh as much as people have laughed about me. I didn't care. It's all part of the process...
I feel so much respect for Mary Poppins right now.
Erika.
Can't adapt.
It's a lost case, I gave up a long long time ago.
There are many many things I can handle, yet there's one thing I'll never manage to adapt to.
The coldness.
It's ironic how I live in the Netherlands, where 3/4 of the time it's cold (spring is considered as 'relatively warm', no sir, to me it's fuh-reezing).
The very obvious: I miss summer dearly.
However, I dedicate this blog to the one thing that provides me joy and laughter whenever the weather sucks balls.
It's the fact that I've been in extremely awkward situations the past couple of days because I tend to slip out some histerical giggles. If I was someone else, I'd think I was a total freak.
Must hold it in, hold it in, holdddd it in...
No luck.
Every morning, every afternoon, every night I go out...I wait for the bus. Generally, I'm late, so I pretty much ALWAYS miss the bus and usually run after it. That never helps, I miss it anyway, so I sigh and return to the bus stop and sit down as I wait for the next one to enrich my life and hopefully get me to my destination IN TIME.
I get bored. Need distraction, seeing as the coldness slowly penetrates my skin like sharp knives. I'm easily cold. Matter of fact, I'm always cold! Can't feel my hands, where are my toes? Why are my nipples so hard and my ears are burning. Only option left in order to entertain myself: I observe my surroundings. And I start observing people. How they move, how they interact...It's fascinating (stalker alert, pretty much?)
Seriously, I sometimes laugh internly and try to hold it in because...It's funny.
So funny.
It has been snowing the last couple of days. It's quite beautiful. And I can't help but notice... The face expressions. People falling down. The extreme carefulness. The red noses.
Not sure, nevertheless I assume I'm not the only one noticing how everyone's face expressions change drastically with the change of the weather.
So picture this:
I'm waiting five minutes for the bus. And in that five minute process I saw two people fall right infront of me.
Some dude on a bike almost slipped on the road. He caught my attention because he reminded me of Kenny (Southpark). He had his hood up (gangstaaa) and was wearing a orange, exaggerated thick coat. Wrapped up in wool. So, there he goes on his bike...Macho man made a very awkward movement, sort of like a hop, to save himself from the embarrassment of falling sideways and ending up on the street with his bike above him. I bet he'd look like a turtle if he fell down: the difficulty of getting up due to loss of balance, I don't think anyone could walk normally, wearing such a huge coat. He could barely move. Then his face of total panic. I'm giggling right now just by picturing the whole scene again.
Then some lady walking extremely careful on the snow, taking microscopic steps, looking overly concentrated as she took them, holding her arms up awkwardly for balance.
Bang, bitch fell down.
Look around you: everyone, EVERYONE tries their very best not to fall. Their eyes reflect full concentration on every movement. Their faces either amused by the situation, or simply annoyed.
And especially when it's windy. People hold their coats by their collar with one hand as they lean forward a little, an attempt to move on, to walk past the wind...trying not to get blown away. Their faces show everything but pleasure.
Dude, what about the umbrellas? That's the best of the best, man. Individuals fighting an endless battle against their umbrellas in the middle of the streets, trying to stop them from flying away and being broken by the strength of the wind. The umbrella flies from right to left, up and down, as you hold it, as you try to get a grip of it. And what do you generally do? You laugh. So hard. Because it's so fucking annoying, it gets fucking funny. At least I think so.
Just for the records: I'm not an evil bitch that sits there and laughs at people instead of helping them. Ok...So maybe I am.
It's just that I'm...easily amused. I'm all up for laughing at stupid shit.
Trust this: I can be quite clumsy. And I've fallen down many many times because of the snow before. Not even because of the snow, just because I trip on my own feet. What I mean to say, is that I've been through it too, so I have the right to laugh as much as people have laughed about me. I didn't care. It's all part of the process...
I feel so much respect for Mary Poppins right now.
Erika.
Sunday, December 13, 2009
27. Christmas holidays (:
(:
18dec: HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOMMY! + melkweg(blessthefall)with noraaaa.
19dec: chill & work on that stupid essay (what's wrong with these people?! i'm FREE)
20dec: chill & work on that stupid essay
21dec: downtown with the girls alllll day, food @ sarah's place
22dec: working &
23dec: working & happy birthday rabia!
24dec: working fo' the do' & christmas!
25dec: christmas presents whatwhat. hopefully i'll get the drums i asked for, omg.
26dec: out for dinner with la familie, afterwards 'buurtsuper' @ watt!
27dec:
28dec:
29dec: nora's byebyeparty :( *sniff*
30dec:
31dec - 01jan: NEW YEAR! with my family, obviously. afterwards watt! with my dear friends.<3
02jan: PARIS?!
03jan: PARIS?!
Fill in the gaps<3
Man, two weeks isn't enough.
18dec: HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOMMY! + melkweg(blessthefall)with noraaaa.
19dec: chill & work on that stupid essay (what's wrong with these people?! i'm FREE)
20dec: chill & work on that stupid essay
21dec: downtown with the girls alllll day, food @ sarah's place
22dec: working &
23dec: working & happy birthday rabia!
24dec: working fo' the do' & christmas!
25dec: christmas presents whatwhat. hopefully i'll get the drums i asked for, omg.
26dec: out for dinner with la familie, afterwards 'buurtsuper' @ watt!
27dec:
28dec:
29dec: nora's byebyeparty :( *sniff*
30dec:
31dec - 01jan: NEW YEAR! with my family, obviously. afterwards watt! with my dear friends.<3
02jan: PARIS?!
03jan: PARIS?!
Fill in the gaps<3
Man, two weeks isn't enough.
Thursday, December 10, 2009
26. Take a chillpill.
So usually I wish someome would put a foot up my ass whenever I start stressing out because of bullshit. Yet generally I don't stress. I don't.
There's ONE thing I can't help but stress about. Call me a stupid nerd.
I stress about school. Constantly. IT SUCKS!
I'm the worst person at managing stress, and you know what, I admit it.
Trying to work on it, really.
For example: now instead of hitting my head against all four walls, cry as if I'm in pain and try to kill myself...I just go
'What's the worst that can happen?... I don't pass. And...I'll have to look for something else...And...maybe end up working at McDonald's for the rest of my life...Big deal.'
Two minutes later I'm curled up in a fetal position, rocking myself back and forth with panic in my eyes.
Which makes me want to bang my head against all four walls again. I don't wanna end up in McDonald's.
Ok, so maybe I'm slightly exaggerating...
I go: 'ok, so besides that fact: I'm not gonna die, I'm not gonna starve, no one's gonna shoot me, I don't have a deadly disease, I don't live in Africa, I'm not ugly.'
It's working...for now.
Next week will be one hell of a week, though: three exams.
And to make it fucking worse, my dear tutors and teachers/professors/whatever go: 'you can't fail your VGT. if you do, ...'
Replace the ... for a reason that insinuates: you're going to burn in hell for eternity.
...Yeah. That's how I picture their warnings.
So that's why I fucking wish I could sleep two weeks long and wake up on dec 20th: free time.
FREE TIME. 2 weeks of free time. Hallelujah, seriously. I'm excited. Maybe too excited.
It's becoming creepy.
There's ONE thing I can't help but stress about. Call me a stupid nerd.
I stress about school. Constantly. IT SUCKS!
I'm the worst person at managing stress, and you know what, I admit it.
Trying to work on it, really.
For example: now instead of hitting my head against all four walls, cry as if I'm in pain and try to kill myself...I just go
'What's the worst that can happen?... I don't pass. And...I'll have to look for something else...And...maybe end up working at McDonald's for the rest of my life...Big deal.'
Two minutes later I'm curled up in a fetal position, rocking myself back and forth with panic in my eyes.
Which makes me want to bang my head against all four walls again. I don't wanna end up in McDonald's.
Ok, so maybe I'm slightly exaggerating...
I go: 'ok, so besides that fact: I'm not gonna die, I'm not gonna starve, no one's gonna shoot me, I don't have a deadly disease, I don't live in Africa, I'm not ugly.'
It's working...for now.
Next week will be one hell of a week, though: three exams.
And to make it fucking worse, my dear tutors and teachers/professors/whatever go: 'you can't fail your VGT. if you do, ...'
Replace the ... for a reason that insinuates: you're going to burn in hell for eternity.
...Yeah. That's how I picture their warnings.
So that's why I fucking wish I could sleep two weeks long and wake up on dec 20th: free time.
FREE TIME. 2 weeks of free time. Hallelujah, seriously. I'm excited. Maybe too excited.
It's becoming creepy.
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Stranger.
'Man, Erika has a life now?!'
...Answer to that: no.
I'm still the nerd I've always been.
So a summary what has been going on:
Concerts, London, working, studying, sleeping, eating, shopping, movies, reading.
I started today reading ECLIPSE! www.bol.com ROCKS! Yeahyeah.
So life's pretty much fucking awesome.
I want to move to London. Period.
Hot guys, alternative people, awesome stores, awesome town. Posters of musicals and concerts everywhere. = heaven for Erika Garcia.
And it was EMOTIONAL when I saw the VANS store. I wish we had one here in the Netherlands...
Perhaps I'll study there...someday. 2nd year? 3rd year? We'll see.
So, in the future...
1. Blog about London.
2. Eastpak Antidote Tour (best night ever)
I'm just too lazy right now.
Well I have loads of schoolwork to do. Man, I hate statistics.
Erika
...Answer to that: no.
I'm still the nerd I've always been.
So a summary what has been going on:
Concerts, London, working, studying, sleeping, eating, shopping, movies, reading.
I started today reading ECLIPSE! www.bol.com ROCKS! Yeahyeah.
So life's pretty much fucking awesome.
I want to move to London. Period.
Hot guys, alternative people, awesome stores, awesome town. Posters of musicals and concerts everywhere. = heaven for Erika Garcia.
And it was EMOTIONAL when I saw the VANS store. I wish we had one here in the Netherlands...
Perhaps I'll study there...someday. 2nd year? 3rd year? We'll see.
So, in the future...
1. Blog about London.
2. Eastpak Antidote Tour (best night ever)
I'm just too lazy right now.
Well I have loads of schoolwork to do. Man, I hate statistics.
Erika
Thursday, November 26, 2009
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