26. Take a chillpill.

So usually I wish someome would put a foot up my ass whenever I start stressing out because of bullshit. Yet generally I don't stress. I don't.
There's ONE thing I can't help but stress about. Call me a stupid nerd.
I stress about school. Constantly. IT SUCKS!
I'm the worst person at managing stress, and you know what, I admit it.
Trying to work on it, really.
For example: now instead of hitting my head against all four walls, cry as if I'm in pain and try to kill myself...I just go
'What's the worst that can happen?... I don't pass. And...I'll have to look for something else...And...maybe end up working at McDonald's for the rest of my life...Big deal.'
Two minutes later I'm curled up in a fetal position, rocking myself back and forth with panic in my eyes.
Which makes me want to bang my head against all four walls again. I don't wanna end up in McDonald's.
Ok, so maybe I'm slightly exaggerating...

I go: 'ok, so besides that fact: I'm not gonna die, I'm not gonna starve, no one's gonna shoot me, I don't have a deadly disease, I don't live in Africa, I'm not ugly.'
It's working...for now.

Next week will be one hell of a week, though: three exams.
And to make it fucking worse, my dear tutors and teachers/professors/whatever go: 'you can't fail your VGT. if you do, ...'
Replace the ... for a reason that insinuates: you're going to burn in hell for eternity.
...Yeah. That's how I picture their warnings.

So that's why I fucking wish I could sleep two weeks long and wake up on dec 20th: free time.
FREE TIME. 2 weeks of free time. Hallelujah, seriously. I'm excited. Maybe too excited.
It's becoming creepy.