12. So many plans, so little time...

So.
As the very responsible human being I am (sarcasm), I'm studying for some test on friday. But my mind works in funny ways: I found out it's not even for points or anything at all, just for yourself, to see how good you're capable of using the knowledge you've received the past couple of weeks. The fact I didn't know this, already proves my point: I'm not very dedicated lately.
Result of this valuable information: I'm on blogspot, last.fm, MSN, the phone (talked for like more than an hour with Nora)...everything BUT doing what I'm supposed to be doing.

I don't know, I love Psychology, but I'm just not motivated at all.
I feel I have to do other stuff first (like this).
It has nothing to do with the fact I'm a universitarian now, not at all; I was the same thing in High School. Surprisingly enough I always had good grades, so I guess my personality isn't that bad. I just tend to leave stuff for the end and do 'more important things' first.

So here, a list of the awesome things I will be doing. SO EXCITING. ;D
1. Finally getting my lip pierced. At last.
I'm gonna do something like this (3rd one):

First I'm just going to get one piercing, though.
2. A Skylit Drive + Dance Gavin Dance @ MELKWEG.
3. The Arctic Monkeys @ HMH.
4. Jonas Brothers @ Ahoy.
5. Eastpak Antidote Tour @ MELKWEG.
6. Paramore? :(
7. A weekend to London with Nora (& Sarah & Dani?)
8. LOWLANDS 2010!
9. Grandma & cousin coming to NL from Ecuador! AAAAH :D
10. My ultimate goal: Roadtrip through the USA in a Volkswagen van. And I will do it.

Ok, it's very obvious I'm trying to avoid studying. So I guess I'll get back at that now *sigh*.

Love,

Erika.

11. Dear Mason,

I'm dedicating a blog to you.
Because I not long ago realised you're really leaving to Afghanistan.
And somewhere I hate the idea and I would hold you back if I could.
But I know I can't, because it's your life and this was your decision.
I'm just afraid and sad I won't be talking to you in a while...
Because when you leave, you're taking a piece of me with you
Without you, I'm incomplete.
So before you leave, I want you to know how awesome you are.

As any ordinary teenager, I've had 'guy' problems.
Then there's this one guy I could turn to.
He'd tell me the guy had no idea what he did or what he's missing out.
As any ordinary teenager, I've been insecure.
He'd tell me I'm gorgeous and that I shouldn't worry about a thing.
As any ordinary teenager, I've been confused.
He'd tell me his opinion and even tell me how silly I'm being.
As any ordinary teenage, I've fallen in love.
He'd tell me he loves me too.
And as any ordinary teenager, I've had the horrible first-broken heart.
I fell in love with my best friend.
But then months passed and as any ordinary teenager, I got up again.
And there he stood again, telling me how much he cared.
As any ordinary teenager, I've been through fights.
He'd tell me to hold on and be patient.
As any ordinary teenager, I've done stupid shit.
He'd always been team Erika no matter what.
As any ordinary teenager, you lose friends and you gain new ones.
Thing is ... he never left.

Then years passed and we grew up...
And you could say we both went our own ways
Yet he's still there.
He knows so much about me, it's not even funny
As I know about him
Man, he has caused me the craziest laugh attacks
As he has helped me through tears I've shed
The type of boy I wouldn't trade for the world.

Just know I support you 100%
And I love you!
I don't know what I'll do so long without you, dude
Just know I'll pray for you to come home safe.
You're the best guy I've met in my life.

See you soon, because there's so much I still haven't had the chance to say...

Mason Torres, I'm so proud of you, you have no idea.

10. I'm fine. And you're oh-so special.

There are many things I want to tell you
Many things you didn’t know
I know I’m not easy to read;
I wish you would’ve tried a little harder.

You gave up on me,
But I’m starting to think
Maybe you never started trying
I was a challenge
Or some sort of game
You got bored of.

There are many many things I would’ve liked to know
From your favorite color to why you had to be this way
I know I’m not easy to read,
But I swear I would’ve written down every detail of my life
If you would’ve asked me to.

Yet I understand where you’re coming from
And you didn’t want to hurt my feelings, because you cared.
How nice of you to tell everyone that I was your biggest mistake.

And how funny to think I believed what you told me
To think perhaps you’re not ‘as bad as you seemed’
Somewhere in that process I felt way too much for you
Don’t you worry, ‘cause I’m not sad
I’m fucking pissed.
Not even at you, but at myself
I guess I lost track of time and senses

9. LOL.

Click it.

8. Authorities.

So I learnt one term that caught my eye on college today.
'Norm of obedience to authority'. What the hell is that, Erika?
It means that it's normal, and GENERAL...that authorities should be obeyed.

Who the HECK invented that shit?

I mean, I know there must be some sort of authority. Or else this world would be complete chaos.

But right now I'm just mad at the inventor. Because if it wasn't for that, I could be partying and chilling all I wanted (= no PARENTAL authority). I could be NOT going to fucking school and homework would be avoided (= no SCHOLAR authority).

I could pee (something very very natural to do) in PUBLIC without getting a fine.
I could run around naked without getting a fine of the police. While being naked, is too, something SO natural.

We could be doing so many things, unbelievable...

I wouldn't have to BUY food, I could just pick some random fruit from a random tree.
Without having to worry about shit clogging up my arterie walls and dying of high cholesterol.

Isn't that silly, though, if you think about it? We have to pay for food. While it's growing everywhere for us to eat it, but no, people in Africa are starving because you have to PAY for it. Wth?
In this country, we have to pay to PEE. TO PEE! Something so natural.
Maybe if we didn't have to pay to go to the bathroom, there wouldn't be the Mexican flu, because people could wash their hands without having to PAY.

God, how annoying.


A more productive blog coming very soon, don't worry, I'm just so busy and ANGRY BECAUSE I HAVE SO MUCH TO FUCKING DO. STUPID AUTHORITIES.


FUCK YOU ALL!


I HATE YOU.


Erika.

8. Hi, Dani.

I've been trying many ways to start this blog without sounding totally corny and cheesy.
Seriously, I laughed my ass off like twenty times because my blog started something like this...

*Attempt #1*
Love...how do you describe it? Everyone interpretates it differently.
...I cracked up.

*Attempt #2*
Usually, I'm not the type of person to write cheesy blogs and post them. But I guess this person deserves it.
LOL. She would've laughed at ma' faceeee for writing that shit.

*Attempt #3*
There are different types of love. 'I love mommy & daddy'-love, 'OMG, LYKE BFF'S 4EVAAA'-love, 'My dog's, like, my best friend...'-love, Grandma&grandpa love...and so on.
...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.

The other 7 attemps I won't describe because 1. they're too embarrassing, I'm ashamed right now already! and 2. my blog would be waaaay too long.

I think this is a pretty damn awesome intro, if I can say so myself.
So let me start telling you why and what this blog's about.

So a few days ago I was so tired. So broken. My day had been long; university is a bitch sometimes. I was ready at like 5 PM, but noooo I had to go to the library to copy 49568396483 pages of psychologists explaining 'why we do the things we do'. I love it, but at that moment, I was like 'STFU, Forsyth'. I walked home. I felt like I had walked for miles and miles, because AS USUAL...I missed my bus. I bump into some junkie that lives under the bridge I was walking through. No offence to the junkie, I bet he's reallyreally nice, but when it's 8 PM at night and you're dying to get home, it's not a funny thing to experience. Note: if it was a businessman in a suit looking at me pervertedly, I would've thought exactly the same. I didn't know the dude.
Anyway, so after having to experience a perverted look and a yucky guy licking his upperlip, I walked further. I was so hungry, because I had already spent the last 2 euros I had left on a sandwich earlier that day. My hands were hurting, my head was aching. My mood was unbearable.
And if it wasn't bad enough, it started to fucking rain. Grrrreat.
I finally arrived home.

I opened the front door (with lots of effort; I don't know what's wrong my door, sometimes it just won't open and I have to go in through the backyard or any other existing door...), but as guessed it wouldn't open the first trial. At that point I was mad at the door (Psychologists might explain it as a typical case of EXCITATION TRANSFER MODEL, thank you very much). Obviously the door did not kick my butt or hurted my feelings, but at that moment I just thought it was too... yellow. Stupid annoying yellow door, just shut up! I'M MAD AT YOU!
So ok, I finally managed to open the door and there I was. I accomplished my goal.

Then I heard someone running down the stairs at full speed (324935 km an hour).
I looked at her. Her bangs were covering one eye. Her eyeliner was a little messy, 'cause she tends to scratch her eye, like ALL the time. She was wearing her boyshirt and probably jeans, I don't quite remember. Her sock had a hole. She had the cheesy smile she always put for fun. She posed and said 'what's up, sexy motherfucker'. I laughed.

That day, she had bought me a campina macchiato. And I don't know if I've told this before; I LOVE macchiatos. To death. I smiled at the macchiato waiting for me in the refrigerator, untouched, cold and tasty.

My mood changed in matter of seconds. People can have a big influence on you.
Yet I don't know anyone who can make me switch so fast. Mostly when I'm moody, I rather chop off someone's head (don't get me wrong, I'm NEVER moody, but if I am I'm horrible). I then lock myself in my room and go 'LEAVE ME ALONE -_-!'

Hi Dani, if you haven't noticed, this blog's about you. It's becoming surprisingly long, seeing as I didn't even know where to start at first. But I'm not done, not even half.

She's my sister, to many people my 'twin'. Do I look fifteen to you?
But she's like, gay.
In a good way.
I wouldn't want my sister to be...not-gay and not-stupid and not-dorky.

If Dani was a guy, I'd marry her. ...And if she wasn't my brother, of course.
Why? Because Dani and I are true love (I'm sorry, cheesyness slips through my fingers!).

Dani, I love you. And do you know why?
Because I can call you a bitch, motherfucker, stupid, idiot and a whore and you accept it and laugh.
Because you reply me with a bitchslap that usually hurts.
Because you buy me energy drinks and macchiatos all the friggin' time without having to ask me if I even want one.
Because everytime I try to explain you math, we both end up NOT knowing what we're talking about...And I always tell you to write down 'ask the teacher tomorrow', which you never do, so you come back a few days later with the same darn question.
Because everytime I come home, I shout 'FAKA DAN CHIMI' and you reply me singing obnoxiously.
Because when we go to a concert, you're the only one that wants to talk to weird looking ladies with teeth missing, asking me for money, wanting to use my nailpolish and I give them some grapes instead.
Because you're the only one that wants to run with me outside and try to 'tap' our feet together in the air...while half of the neighbourhood is watching.
Because everytime I come to you complaining about something retarded, you reply 'oh my god, suck it up, it's not a fucking big deal'...you keep me sane.
Because I can watch movies latelate at night. Because you always throw things at me whenever the movie just started and I'm already snoring and deep asleep.
How about...
Fort Myers. Hanging out on the beach at 2 in the morning, getting EATEN by mosquitos, but refusing to go inside because we want to watch ten shooting stars AT LEAST.
Making shamefully stupid videos and pictures with the most ugly faces we've ever seen and laughing our asses off at ourselves doing it. Being totally embarrassed and surprised by our capability to make SUCH fools of ourselves on cam?
That's not even HALF. What have we NOT done together?
We even pooped together when we were like 5 years old.
What about being tiny little kids and showering together, then meassuring the distance between my belly button and yours?
Going to concerts and making a fool of Ne-Yo.
Understanding exactly what we're saying, even if we haven't finished our sentence.
Understanding exactly what we're saying, just by making some weird sound effect (damn, we're good at that).
Playing barbies. Oh my God, the barbies...
You'd hit me when I wouldn't play anymore, so hard, that I got scared so I'd play anyway. Then five minutes later you'll be sick of it and you'd demand me to clean it up (hahaha you were such a pain in the ass).
Oh not to forget...Annoying me every single morning before school. Me being stressed out because we had to be at school in 5 minutes, Dani still in her pyjamas going down the stairs sloooowly, saying 'ñaña, look! I'm a tuuuuuurtle!'
Shopping together, then after half an hour being sick of it and ending up in a McDonald's, Mockamore or KFC. We're such men...
Calling you a filthy emo. Calling me a 'waaaallah'. Then calling me a bitch.
What about me telling you the big thing with butter was ICE CREAM? And you'd just eat it.
Dancing to friggin' Shakira and Spice Girls. Ten years later, dancing on talent shows.
Having too-damn-deep unnecessary conversations. But afterwards, we're like 'DUDE I'm glad I'm not the only one thinking like that'
Laughing about...nooooothing whatsoever.
What about when you were a baby? I'd love to 'take care of you' and I'd put kilo's of baby powder on your tummy and rub it all over. You'd laugh and cough to death, because of all the smoke-ish powder-ish stuff. Or me laughing at you everytime you tasted something horrible, because your nosetrils would go wide open but you'd say 'mmmm tasty' anyway. Or how everytime you'd put on a bathing suit, one buttcheek would pop out, because...Dude, your butt was huge when you were three years old.
Dressing you up and trying to put on similar clothes. I have no idea why I did that.
You following me alllll over the place. Me thinking that was completely normal and something so obvious and natural to do. Because in a way you're part of me.
Without you would be like, missing a leg...Or an arm.

You're the cheese on my pizza, man.
The peanut butter on my PJ-sandwich, man.
The weiner on my hotdog.
The ketchup on my...EVERYTHING, seeing as I eat everything with ketchup.

And not having you would be like...Walking outside with one shoe, feeling totally unsatisfied because you don't have two shoes, no, you have one.
(What is it with me and missing shoes?)
Life without you would be like...Getting Ben&Jerry's for free! Then taking the top off to realize there's only one bite left.

I'd give my kidney for you.
And if you wouldn't need it, I'd just if you asked for it, even if it's just for some weird decoration in your room, if it would truely make you happy.

I was there when you spoke your first words, when you wrote your first letters (ugly as hell), when you walked your first steps (although I can't remember), when you fed the dog my grandmother's glasses and when you hid every single key of the house in your little car. When you drew your first naked people laying on a bed when you were four years old. And I'll always have your back, just like when I drew clothes on your drawings so my mommy wouldn't find out you were perverted. I didn't want you to get in trouble.

Because that's what big sisters do, right? At least I do.
And I'll be there when you get totally drunk on your first party and vomit all over Krek's car (>.>...). I'll hold your hair to your back so you can vomit into the toilet without having to worry about a thing. Dude, I'll clean up the mess afterwards...But obviously, first I'll be the one to tell you 'DON'T DRINK ANY ALCOHOL'. And I'll be there when you have your first kiss, first boyfriend...First heartbreak and your first 'I hate him so much! How could he?!'...I'll be there when you want to take revenge and hit the motherfucker. Dude, I'll even HOLD his arms for you so you can beat the crap out of him. I'll be there when you graduate, get married, have kids. I'll babysit them for you.

Honestly, you've always been there for me too. So many things you've done without even KNOWING it.
And so, so much more, dude.

I love you, ñañita.

<33333

7. Carpe diem.

Sometimes I caught myself drifting away. Wondering how I ever got to this thought in the first place. It’s annoying, really.
Once I discovered a way to deal with this. And it made so much sense. It helped...up to a point.
It started a little bit like this: why do I bother complaining and making myself crazy with thoughts that aren’t able to be changed? Things that WILL happen. Things you –sadly enough- can’t help.
Although this was supposed to make me feel better, I felt so useless, realizing that we can’t control certain things that ‘just’ happen…and it could/will happen to us.
Once I had a fear of growing old. First time I had this, I was like six years old. I'd count the years I had left with my mommy and daddy (I was so weird...). Then I had it again, seeing photographs of people, family, even myself and thinking: why does time have to pass so fast? Walking down the street seeing older people, wondering how they feel, if it bothers them to be the age they are…Imagining how they were forty years ago, when they were young and full of life.
And then I drifted away to the second part of my ‘thought’: How will I feel twenty years from now? Will I be able to look back at my youth and think I did everything I wanted… And that I achieved all my goals? Or will I regret (I hate that word) that I didn’t do certain things, because I was afraid, or maybe at that time I didn’t think it would be so important making that little, stupid decision.
Another scary though…Is the fact you can’t control your own body. Your OWN body, the body you take care of with healthy food, vitamins and lotions, or the body you try to destroy by smoking, drinking and ONLY eating patat and kroket. It’s funny how you can control your actions, you can make the right choices – the easy choices – stupid choices. Funny how you can control ANYTHING in your life…Where you go, what you’ll do, what you wear, what you’ll eat, who you marry to, what you’ll do with your money, your opinion about things…But in the end it’s not you that decides your destiny. I believe that your destiny is written. Although you choose to go right, even if first you were thinking of choosing to go left..That too, was predicted.
See? Drifting away again. My point was that we can’t control our own bodies. You don’t know when you’ll end up with a deadly disease. You don’t know if it’s growing in you. You don’t know when your heart will stop beating. Isn’t that scary? That you think you’re in control of what you do, but you can fall asleep…and never wake up.
Tonight, you’re expecting you’ll fall asleep on your nice, comfy bed and you’ll wake up at 7 AM to go to school/work/wherever you have to be. No one can guarantee you that! It’s with everything.
Like, when you buy a lottery ticket. Deep inside, you know that there’s liiiiiittle chance you’ll win the lottery, yet you still know it could happen. So you buy it anyway. However, experience have taught you before that you probably WON’T win…But what if you do? It’s a total surprise, even if you already bought the ticket. It’s totally UNEXPECTED. You’re astonished, shocked, ‘cause you didn’t expect it to happen, not so soon anyway.
What does make me feel better, is the fact I know I’m not alone in this. There are billions and billions of people on earth. All going through the same things. Some worse; some are living the good life. But even the most famous actor (Patrick Swayze DIED!), the most helpful nun, the biggest criminal, the worst murderer, the nicest teacher, the most innocent child…Everyone will grow old. Everyone will feel alone at times. Everyone WILL die…
And I’m so tiny, if you think about it. My thoughts don’t even count. I’m (less than) a chromosome in this huge universum we exist in. And when I look up to the stars late at night, I always realize that. And it makes me feel good, because as crazy as it might sound, we're all in this together, we’re all in the fucking same. My problems seem so damn tiny in that moment and I realize…it’s not important. So I WILL party my ass off. I WILL do my roadtrip with Dani and Nora through the USA. I WILL have my piercing, although a lot of people don't appreciate it. Life’s waaaaahaaaay too short to care, so enjoy it.

Carpe diem.

'Always do that thing that scares you.'

6. 'I want you all to get fucking crazy!'

I'm a freak.
For those who nodded and said outloud (or thought, or giggled): 'yeah you're so weird, erika!'...Thank you very much, I meant another sort of freak...

I'm a concertfreak. Yes, I really am.
Honestly, I would go every single day to a concert if I could...But first of all, this country is too little to be noticed, which means that awesome artists don't come all the time. The biggest, coolest bands come like...every 2 years (if lucky), only when there's an European tour obviously...AND SOMETIMES, sometimes they even SKIP Holland!
I suppose they think: 'What's that dot on the map? Did you spill something?' And when they finally figure out it's our beloved country, they go 'Dude, Netherlands exists for REAL? I thought someone made it up'
It hurts. It deeply, deeply hurts. Give the Dutchies a CHANCE!

Besides, I go see GOOD music, not some crappy Ilse de Lange (no offence), Anouk (no offence), Marco Borsato (no offence) or Frans Bauer (offence).
I'm not saying I'm picky with music, not at all...My iPOD shuffles Avenged Sevenfold to Daddy Yankee to Celia Cruz to Bloc Party to even Frank friggin' Sinatra.

The bands don't have to be extremely famous to give a great concert. True story: the best concerts I've been to are the smallest concerst (except for Incubus, my favorite band ever).

Example I: You me At Six. I went to see this band before they went to Pinkpop, Warped Tour or were the support act of PARAMORE. Okay. They were just a small band...The stage was tiny and really low...The tickets weren't even sold out...The place was really small (people were moshing anyway...fucking awesome).
And guess what? That night, Josh held my hand, the bassist kept posing and looking into my camera, I was in the front...Afterwards, we even spoke to the singer and he gave me his autograph and everything. I even got FREE BEER!

Example II: Avenged Sevenfold. At that point, Avenged Sevenfold was my obsession.
Same thing, small stage, small place, huge moshpits, I was like..fifteen years old.
And what happened? I spoke to the guitarist (Synyster Gates). Yet it was quite a dissapoinment...*flashback music*
After the concert, Gabriel and I went to the little bar thingie. So there we stood, but WOW! The coolest belt buckle I've ever seen. So I decided that I deserved it and I walked over to the merchandise selling thingie to purchase the ghettoest belt buckle I've ever seen (still have it :)). To my surprise, there were a lot...A LOT! Of girls standing at one side of the table (there were like three tables full of shirts, buttons, etcetera etcetera). I'm a really distracted person, so I didn't even realise what was going on. I walked to the other side of the table-merchandise-selling-thingie and surprisingly enough...It was empty. I naively (?) thought: haha, suckers, NOW I GET TO GO FIRST WITHOUT STANDING IN LINE. This hot guy, with eyeliner, a hat, long hair, full of tattoos and pretty buff walked over to me and asked me 'How can I help you? How did you like the show?!'...I looked at him and only thought to myself 'damn, he's hot!' but at the same time 'what a baaaad copy of Synyster Gates'...so I responded (after a short pause, where the hell was my head) 'can I eh...have one of those...uh....belt...thingies?' He smiled friendly at me and said 'Sure you can, that'll be fifteen euros.' I dug deep in my pocket to find a 10-euro and a 5-euro bill. 'Thanks' I said, smiling flirty, doing my very best to impress him with my charms. As I walked over to my brother, I heard some of the girls telling the extremely-buffy-and-handsome guy: 'I lost my backstage pass, it sucks, do you know any way we can go backstage?' and again I thought: 'hahaha, suckers.'
When I got back to my brother, we were ready to head to the train station, but I needed to pee (of all that beer and Red Bull I assume). The bathroom was entertaining. It was full of rockchicks, tattooed and pierced, they were everywhere. Everywhere! My eyes scanned through body parts of these amazingly beautiful girls 'till I could find a tiny tattooless or piercedless piece of visible skin.
The line was really long, so it was a very good distraction as I stood there, trying not to pee my pants.
I don't think anyone wants to hear any details about my peeing experiences and quite frankly I can't really make up a great story about going to the bathroom, so let's stop right there and get back to the story.
As we walked to the train station, my brother wanted to make me feel jealous (he didn't even like the band, he kept shouting names of other bands during the concert).
So he told me he talked to the guitarist:
'Great show, man! What's your band's name again?'
Synyster supposedly answered: 'Avenged Sevenfold, man' as he laughed.
My brother sarcastically teased him: 'What? Gay name. Avenged Sevenfold, what does that mean?! A sevenfold that avenges?'
Synyster: 'Hahaha, you're an asshole man!'
...I asked him how he managed to do that, and why didn't he call me?!
And then it hit me: the hot guy, the very bad copy of Synyster Gates (I assumed it was part of the show)...IT WAS HIM! HIM! My favorite guitarist at that point.
Silly silly me.

There's just something about the whole vibe and environment that makes me happy.
A lot of people hate the fact they have to wait HOURS in line before they can finally go in the building. I love it. I love standing hours, squished to death by everyone surrounding me, holding my ticket with both hands to keep it safe.
Tip I: always have your ticket by hand or in pocket, there's too much mess going on for you to grab it from your purse/backpack. You have to wait extra long before getting inside and in that single miserable little minute...at least 10 people will pass you by.
When you're standing there, you get impatient. That only means you get more excited, you can't fucking wait. You even get to meet people...People with at that moment the same interest as you.
I love how people secretly fart in line because they just can't hold it any longer. I love it how they pretend it wasn't them.
A lot of people hate waiting hours inside before the actual band comes out. I love it. I so love the support acts (most of the time). And I love just sitting on the floor with something to drink as the waiting music plays(=most of the time awesome music) and you sit with your friends and new friends too.
Then...a lot of people hate how you get pushed around, you get sweaty...your own sweat plus sweat of thousands of unknown people...dripping all over your already sweaty body. Your hair gets pulled all over the place and afterwards you realize you used to have hair all over your head. Your shirt gets pulled, you lose your earring, you lose your necklace...You can even lose your shoe (seriously, once I found a shoe after a concert...'Like, dude, where's my shoe?' ..I never got how that girl never bothered to go back to get her shoe).
You get into moshpits against your own will. It rocks. I love getting pushed. And most of all: I love to push fat, huge, clumsy, dirty, drunk boys around.

It's all part of the process. You can't just skip any step of it.
I love how all of sudden you have to grab someone's leg, back or even buttcheek to help them out as they stagedive. I love how they fall, get back up again and continue rocking out. I love getting long hair on my face whenever they headbang.
I love when the singers go 'Helloooooo, Amsterdam! Are you ready to rock?' and how they always, ALWAYS scream something like: 'I want you all to get fucking crazy!" or "I want to see a huge, crazy moshpit over there!"...
I love when the singer tries to talk dutch.

I love how the band leaves, waving, making peace signs and even blowing kisses to the fans, and the whole audience starts screaming 'we want more!"...I love how the moment the band comes back to play a last song 'for the fans' sake', even though the song was the last song of the line-up all along.

I love the adrenaline as you jump and sing along to your favorite songs. How your arm muscles hurt because you've been holding up your camera the whole entire time. I...secretly also love leaning my arm on the person's head who's standing infront of me (they usually get mad and I give them the bitch-look...they never complain after that). How you can see hundreds of hundreds of sweaty, red, tired heads and faces yelling and singing when you turn your head around. What about the groupies who have been standing since six o'clock in the morning to get infront and actually manage to do it?! How dedicated!...How they scream their lungs out and accidentally spit on people, plus manage to damage your tympanic membrane. How people faint and get carried away. How you have to help out the girl standing next to you that's about to faint, because she asks you to, because she doesn't want to leave her spot...And how after she gets carried away, you have space to go a little more to the front, a little closer to your idols, even it's just an inch.

I love how everyone goes to the same place, at the same time, with a similar ticket but with the same goal. And how they all have something in common. And everyone's so fucking happy.

I love the end, when you can go backstage or you wait around to see if you can get backstage...and if you don't, you go see if you're lucky enough to see at least the top of the head of the awesome drummer, so you can tell your friends all about it. How fucking crazy you go about it.
"MAN, I saw the drummer!" xD
Or getting an autograph, a picture or even a handshake (or a filthy towel...)
And how everyone sits outside, hanging out at 12 AM, with a feeling of total satisfaction (or not if the band was crap).

As you stand for an hour outside freezing to death, you look over at your friend who's walking over to you, because he had to stand in line for more than an hour to get his jacket.
Then he suggests: "Let's go get a burger"

5. summer '09

4. Let's talk boys.

I'm boycrazy.

Robert Pattinson.
Hottest vampire ever, in my opinion.
And his wild hair, oh my gah.
Annoying how he's in EVERY FRIGGIN TEENMAGAZINE.
And I'm aware he's not THAT goodlooking. He's not the typical modelfaced-sixpacked-celebrity. Which I think it makes him even hotter.
And what's up with this: all girls got steamy whenever he would be brought up in a conversation, and now all of sudden there's this change of mind and everyone's obsessed with Taylor Lautner...Huh?! It's all because that guy has like a twentythreepack.

Can't wait till New Moon comes out.

English accent, awesome humor + cute crooked smile > Lautner's twentythreepack. Tyvm.

Shia Labeouf.
I fell in love with him when he was in Even Stevens (A Disney Channel show, he was like a kid there). Anyways. He's cute and he's an awesome actor. And he's funny. And he's perfect. And...yeah. Sexy.
Disturbia? Kiss scene = Hot. Times 1000. My goodness gracious.

Again...HOW FUCKING ANNOYING IS IT THAT HE'S IN EVERY 13YEAROLDMAGAZINE.

Heath Ledger.
I still don't understand why he had to die. -.-
Dude, best actor EVER. Period. He could act in any sort of film and he would totally nail it.
The Joker: Hello, who would've thought a complete psychopat could be so...attractive? And beside the whole superficial-hotness-crap, he was a master in this movie. Batman was seriously a side-character in his OWN movie ('The Dark Knight', hello?!). Heath really stole the show, which is the reason why he belongs in my top 6^^.
Skip (The Lords of Dogtown): I LOVED HIM IN THIS MOVIE! It's one of my favorite movies, but dude...He was SUCH a cool surferdude. I don't think there could've been a better Skip.
Not to mention the other awesome movies he was in. ^^

And the list goes on...
Topher Grace.
So as I've mentioned before, there's no better show than That 70's show. I watch it every single night on Comedy Central.
And so...No joke, Eric Forman would be my perfect boyfriend. He's hilarious and extremely sarcastic. And what a shame, I've never met a guy that makes me laugh like Eric Forman. I don't think I ever will. Isn't that DEPRESSING? Gosh...

I hate my life.

Zac Efron.

Laugh all you want. I'm aware every thirteen-year old fancies him. I'm aware I'm eightteen. Sue me, I like the Jonas Brothers too. I don't give a shiiiiit. Zac's hot. And he has great hair and awesome clothes. And shoes. Not to mention his hot bod.

And he can sing. And act. And be extremely cheesy. And play basketball. And be extremely cheesy. And he has blue eyes. And he's extremely cheesy. Yes, he played a role in HSM, but who cares? You have to start somewhere...

Fuck Vanessa Hudgens. She's too nude for him anyway.

But seriously, I'm aware he is TOO...Everywhere.

Brandon Boyd.

He is my true love... Since I was like nine years old (A nine-year-old crushing on a 20yearolder guy...sick).
He looks good with any haircut...And trust me, he'd had a lot of different ones.

He's the singer of my favorite band ever; Incubus.
And he's hot, creative, has the most amazing voice I've ever heard. Anddddd...HE SURFS. He surfs! I love me some Californian surfdude, fo' sho'.

But seriously, I look up to him.

Which is why he's my TOP 1.

:]

Try to beat my awesome top 6.

<3

3. Optimism is a gift.

The grass always looks greener on my side of the fence.

2.

Upsetting.

If you take time to tell everyone the truth, how much effort does it take to tell the truth to the person that deserves to hear it the most?
Is it fear to confront the person you don't want...Or fear to confront hurting the person you love?
In my opinion, if you love, care about, or at least feel some SYMPATHY for someone, be honest about it. If you care, tell the facts to their faces so that person can finally move on.

&& Don't put her on hold.

1.

So I'm pretty damn convinced nobody will read my blogs... But that's okay. I don't write shiz so everybody will read it. I can imagine nobody cares. Honestly, I don't care about reading blogs either. But... Sometimes you just need to clear your head. Order thoughts. Analyze them even. What I think is really funny, is that when you do, you sometimes find oh-so clear answers to your 'oh-so important' problems, which afterwards seemed so stupid or perhaps more important than you thought in the first place, and these answers were infront of you the whole time, right there infront for you to grab them, but you couldn't... 'cause your mind was filled up with chaotic thoughts and mixed up with unimportant and - quite frankly - superficial shit.

So it's time for some random facts.
Right now it's 23.27 PM.
Mood? Tired.
Listening to? Black Heart Inertia - Incubus (Brandon Boyd is the hottest 33-year old I've ever seen in my life. I'd so marry him.)
Wearing? What Ying's cousin would call my 'black drollenvangers'... and a brown t-shirt.
Hair's up. Make up's messy. So is my room. My nails are black. I'm drinking coke; best drink in the whole entire world.
Worrying about the PARAMORE tickets I should get really soon, or else the friggin' concert will be sold out AND WHAT THEN? No paramore?! Crazy. We don't want that to happen, now do we?
I just watched that 70's show. It always manages to make me want to pee my pants of laughter.
Fez has to be my favorite character.
The last movie I watched was 'Bandslam'. Liked it a lot, suprisingly enough. Wondering why all Disney Movies have the same structure. (Nerdy boy; no friends; blonde, popular girl; bad one of the picture; finally, everybody becomes the BESTEST friends ever and ACCOMPLISH THEIR GOALS! YAY!).
It's 23.34 PM now.
My sock has a hole in it.

What an exciting first entry to Erika's fabulous life.

Whatevrrdude.