22. Ugh, women.

This blog is dedicated to the fact that I don't seem to understand my own specie.
I have all the symptomes: a vagina, boobies, long hair, a girly voice, make up on, emotional instability, giggly, flirty expressions when around guy I like, shopping impulses, shoe addicted, girly moments, pyjama parties...
But dude, seriously, sometimes I feel like I'm in one body, yet belong in another one.

And I nod along at times when I hear the following expression:

Ugh, women.

Just to be clear about this, no, I'm not confused. No, I don't want to change my sex.
I'm a girl and I love being one, etcetera, etcetera.
Yet sometimes I seriously think: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU, WOMAN?!

Mostly, it's about guy stories. About ignorant behavior.
And when I find myself thinking/doing these kind of things, I tend to correct myself and say: Erika Garcia, don't be such a girl.
So, seeing as I have a blog, fingers to type with, and a brain to think with, why not tell the world my opinion. No reason needed, it's just because I can.

Surely most women have heard this a million times, but it won't hurt to say it once more.
Girlfriend, I'm doing this because I love ya. So listen carefully. Drop your starbucks coffee, nailpolish, stop talking hours on your blackberry and read;

1) when a guy is married, when a guy has a girlfriend, or when a guy is simply NOT interested in you...

STOP. FUCKING. FOLLOWING. HIM.

2) when a guy is a player, when a guy cheats on you, when a guy doesn't treat you right, when a guy just wants you for 'one thing'...

LET. HIM. FUCKING. GO.

3) when a guy doesn't call you for a day, when a guy has girl-regular-friends, when a guy says one wrong thing...

STOP. FUCKING. THINKING IT OVER AND OVER AND OVER.

Now, I'll continue by giving good reasons why you should do what I say.

1)
I have no idea what goes through a girl's mind when they go behind a - sure very irresistible guy, why would you do so much effort if he wasn't? - TAKEN guy.
He's TAKEN. Taken. Takentakentaken. For God's sake. Do NOT be the one he cheats with. Because no, he's not going to leave his girlfriend just like that for you, trust me, you can't be that special. unless you're in a movie like 'The Notebook' or 'Twilight' or something. He just wants to play around. You can play around with single guys without destroying relationships. Especially if he has a relationship for a long, stable time. Besides, just the fact that he's TAKEN should be enough reason not to get involved.
Not to mention, if he cheats on his girlfriend with you, there is a big chance he will cheat on you with another girl. And guess what? He'll tell that girl exactly the same thing: 'you're so special to me, I've never met a girl like you before' and all that crap.
If he really wants you, he'll break up with his girlfriend before he even thinks of hooking up with you. Besides, how would you fucking feel if your boyfriend cheated on you? What if you were in her shoes? Poor girl. So, DO NOT INTERFER!
And - OH MY GOD, before I forget -...Don't even dare to date your best friend's ex-boyfriend, or be the one he cheated with. That is...dude, just wrong, as hot as he is.
BRO'S OVER HO'S.
The other way around? If a boy cheats on you with another girl, you could give him another chance. I do believe in second chances. I just don't believe in myself being the guilty bitch on the picture. It's just unhealthy and immoral.

2)
As I said, there's nothing wrong with giving a second chance...or a third chance...
Yet, really, open your eyes, you must realize at the fourth or fifth chance that he's not CHANGING his ways at all. He's probably very convinced he'll get a 50th chance if necessary.
He's just a horny little man. Is that even worth it? ...Let me answer that for you, it's simple: no. If he wants to go around doing 'the nasty' with other girls, he can, as a single man. If it bothers you, LET HIM GO! And stop thinking it over.
Stop talking it over with your friends everyday. Because:
1. it gets annoying...
And..
2. 'don't dump him, he's hot' or 'but remember he gave you roses for valentine's day? Oh em gee, that was SO thoughtful, he MUST love you' after him slapping your face, isn't a very helpful way to decide what's the right thing to do.
Follow your intuition. It's always right.
Actions speak louder than words. 'How can you let us go after three years? I love you' are words coming from his -perhaps very gorgeous- lips. The fucking around are the actions. Now, balance both and you'll get a very clear vision of what you're supposed to do.

3)
This is very typical girl conversation. And I admit, sometimes I find myself doing this. Fortunately, I have down-to-earth people in my surroundings who slap me awake everytime I do.
Random Girl 1: 'So, how's it going with Peter?'
Random Girl 2: 'Well...we've been talking on MySpace a lot'
Random Girl 1: 'Seriously? About what?'
Random Girl 2: 'About a bunch of things...'
Random Girl 2: 'And he commented my profile picture!'
Random Girl 1: 'Dude! That's such a good sign. What did he comment?'
Random Girl 2: 'pretty. <3'
Random Girl 1: 'He <3'ed you?!'
Random Girl 2: 'Yes! I think he likes me, I mean, why would he say I'm pretty if he didn't?'

(Some) girls draw conclusions out of nowhere.
They go like:
Jack hung out with me -- last week he also said I looked really pretty -- didn't his eyes went wide when he said that?! I think they did... -- he smiles at me everytime he sees me -- he talks to me a lot on MSN -- I told my bff about it and she totally agreed with me -- JACK HAS A THING FOR ME!

Well, this is a very logical explanation aswell:
Jack hung out with you, because he thinks you're funny -- Jack saw you with your new hair do, and he really liked it -- Jack smiles at you, because he's friendly with everyone -- your friend is a dumbass -- Jack doesn't have a crush on you, he might like you, aswell as he might just think you're cool.

A guy can think you're pretty, but that doesn't mean he totally loves you. Jack said it himself: he just thinks you're pretty. Don't girls do the same? At least I do. I do not have a crush on every hot guy I've seen or love every cute boy I know.

Then we have another - TYPICAL - issue. The girl-regular-friends.
Why the jealousy? He can have girl-friends aswell as boy-friends.
I must admit, I do get jealous aswell, that's normal. But don't let jealousy get the best of you. It just brings up the bad in you and hides the awesome things he originally liked about you. You do NOT want to be the jealous, annoying, I-check-your-phone-messages, girlfriend. YOU DO NOT! You want to be the fun girlfriend he can bring along, the one that gets along with his friends, the one that won't want to leave the party because she's tired and the one that smiles and laughs a lot.

To finish up: if a guy doesn't call you right away, it's not because he doesn't like you, or because you said the wrong thing, or because he wants to break up. He HAS A LIFE TOO! Maybe his dog died. Perhaps he was too tired of work. Or he got caught up in traffic. Or...he just doesn't feel like calling back that day. He's not cheating on you. So get over it. He'll call eventually. And okay, if he doesn't, let it go.

It's time for me to type this on my phone, write this down in my agenda and follow my own instructions when I'm about to lose myself.

And as I look to all these girl issues, I hate to admit, but: now I remember why I'm enjoying being single.


Erika.